Still Big!

Ethan had his one year wellness visit the day after his birthday and is still BIG in the 95 %tile for weight at 27lbs 6oz and the 97 %tile for height at 32"!!!  (I knew he was still 'big' - but it did surprise me that he'd only gained 2lbs in three months - along with 2")  He is a good eater & wants to snack alot between meals, but he runs around constantly too, so he that's why he didn't gain as much as I thought he would have!

 

To shift the subject a bit, I would like to share something that now makes me feel a little silly.

 

After having most of the week of his Birthday off with him, I had to go back to work the next Monday.  Sometimes it's hard to leave him to go to work anyway, but after so much 'Ethan' time it was worse.  I would love to switch my hours & only work part-time, but that isn't a realistic option right now.

 

Most of the week Ethan goes to 'child care' at the home of a sweet family.  I was very lucky that a co-worker gave me Dawn's phone number & referred me to her - he loves it there and I know he is well cared for & cared about - MUCH better for my peace of mind then a bigger 'day care' would have been!  The other one or two days a week he goes out to my parents house and my Mom gets 'Grandma time' with him.  My Mom works part-time at a library as their teen librarian so she has a day off during the week and another day that she works in the evening and has the morning off.

 

This particular Monday he had been at my Mom's house and she had left for work already when I arrived to pick him up, so he was in the care of my Dad and my cousin for the 30 min gap.  After I picked Ethan up, we decided to swing by the library, which is very close to my parents' house and say hello to Grandma.  This is her first Grandchild and she likes to show him off to the other ladies that work in the library :)

Ethan 'studying' at the library 

We went to the library and saw everyone.  He loves the library and we ran around for a little while looking at books and having fun. 

When we were about to leave, my Mom was holding Ethan & as I went to take him from her he started to cry!!!!  This really hurt my feelings & bothered me... after having so much time with me last week, when I pick you up after being away from you all day you CRY when I take you from Grandma?!?!?!?!

 

I know that this sounds ridiculous, but I was mad at him!  Which, really, was based in the fact that my feelings were hurt & I was having a hard time understanding why he wasn't happier to have me back that day when I was so happy to see him!

 

I let this ruin my evening.

 

All evening thoughts were running through my head that I verbalized once Will was home from work... "I must be a bad Mom..."  "Why doesn't he love me?"  "He never misses me when I'm away..."  "He never cries or gets upset when I drop him off before work..."  "WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?!?!?!?!"

 

Will then spent part of his evening attempting to reassure me & emotionally band-aid my hurt feelings... "You ARE a GOOD Mom..."  "He doesn't cry when you drop him off because he doesn't have anxiety, he knows that you're always going to come back, you are a constant in his life"  "He does love you..."  "Trust me, you're not doing anything wrong..."

 

By the time that I was out of work the next day & picked him up, I had decided to 'forgive' him.  We had a great evening.

 

It's amazing how something so small can make you suddenly question your worth as a mother.